Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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