Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
