I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
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I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
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I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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