Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
