omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
COCAINE IS GR8
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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