he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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