he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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