Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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