Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
