i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My balls are so social today.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
