I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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