Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
