My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize