hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
