I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
