Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
