Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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