I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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