I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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