hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize