as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They took my balls.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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