considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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