Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
