I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
