Just mADE A PArabola og urine
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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