I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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