Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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