Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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