well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
