We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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