at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
