Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
