So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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