And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
