This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is Oprah even human
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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