By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
