hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
