I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
