Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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