My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
