boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
