i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
