So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
