Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
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Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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