god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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