you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
