wakey wakey hands off snakey
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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