Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
