were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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