I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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