you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
