I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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