This is not my ceiling
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
