I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
