ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
People in love make me want to vomit
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
