you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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