I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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