The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
