You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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