Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize