Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Drake has all the answers
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
