he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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