He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
