i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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