I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pants are for mortals
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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