Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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