There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dick very happy bro
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
